Small Soul
by nexa alex
Summary: You took my life, You become a moment, You disappeared and the goodbye, Has flown with the wind..." Song fic.


**Small Soul**

**by:**

**nexa alex**

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**Disclamer: I don't own a thing... swear! It's all Clamp!**

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**And I don't own the music either. Alma Pequena - Gémeas**

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A/N:

Here's another song fic. =)

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Once again thanks for your help Jo!

=D

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"I give up!" I screamed

What had brought me to that?

Well it was… 2.48 am and I was just as awake as I had been in the last 72 hours.

Urrrrg! I can't take it anymore! I've to do something.

I pull myself from my warm covers, go to my secretary and grab a pen and my song book.

When I was going to the bed again I pass in front of my mirror… _what have I became?_

I sit at my bed looking down at the white page. What's the best way to spend a sleepless night? Write something down.

Not that I can call this a real insomnia… I just can't sleep, not when I know I've just broken up with my long-term boyfriend…

What to do when the best person that ever crossed your life just broke your trust?

You've sleepless nights…

You lay awake in your bed 'cause you're just too shocked, too… I don't know… just too… you just feel that a hurricane has just crossed your way and turned everything upside down…

I just can't believe he had to go… I still can't believe… and just for a stupid reason…

He just… left me… in here… and went all the way to the other side of the globe to marry a girl.

He didn't even knew her… just because… if he didn't… his father would be too disappointed that he's only son would put his own wants and needs in front of the big and very very important business of the family!

Oh! How happy and proud his daddy must be! Because his wonderful son as left the girl he was suppose to love for a stupid and… and stupid and… even more stupid job!

I put the pen on the white page, take a deep breath… and the words seem to come out on their own…

***

_You took my life_

_You become a moment_

_You disappeared and the goodbye_

_Has flown with the wind_

_You felt everything I felt_

_You knew everything I wanted_

_You pretend it was all an illusion_

_After all I didn't know you_

***

Gosh this feels good, it's like someone has taken a weight of my shoulders…

I feel something had made my cheek wet, tears? Great… now I'm crying! Urg! Enough! I've decided I will forget you!

***

_I thought I meant something to you_

_Crying I've already decided_

_No matter how much it hurts I'll say_

_I've already forgotten you_

_I hate you for what you are_

_A draft of the past_

_But I love you for what you were_

_Someone that will be forgotten_

***

I remember everything you've said, everything you've done, everything you made me feel.

You're eyes had made me believe in so much lies… you're body had made me feel so much in so little time that it used to made me feel dizzy…

But now… those memories seem so far away… now they are only dreams, they're nothing.

***

_I close my eyes and meet your ones_

_I feel your body with my own burning_

_I hear quietly 'I want you for me'_

_I wake up, you're not here_

_You're nothing_

_You're insignificant_

_Ohhh_

_Insignificant_

_You're nothing but no one_

***

Yeah, nothing, you're no one! When you left and took every memory of us with you… all the written letters, all the photos we had… with all that, you took my life…

***

_You took my life_

_A written letter_

_A loosen photograph_

_Why can't I give myself_

_To the right person_

_Why do I only give love_

_To the ones who don't deserve it_

_You've made me become a poet in the dark_

_And it was in the dark that I wrote this letter_

_In the white sheet_

_Tear stains_

_The black color became gray_

_So much pain_

_It wasn't worth it_

_Now you've got a small soul_

***

I remember how I used to feel beautiful when I was around you, you had the ability to make me feel wonderful, with all your sweet words, the loving way you used to gaze at me, or so I thought…

Now I look at my mirror and I don't believe it's me, I see my crying red eyes and my dark eye bags… it's only when I look at the mirror I believe that what I most dread it's true, that it wasn't a bad dream, that it's really, all lost…

***

_I look at the mirror_

_Asking if it's me_

_Cause it's when I look at the mirror_

_I see it's all dead_

_It's when I look at the mirror_

_I saw the reflection is mine_

_I don't even look back_

_I know it's all lost_

***

Now I know I've to put myself together. I've to live without you. So, for that I'll say:

***

_I don't miss you_

_I don't feel your stare_

_I don't even feel the love that made me dream_

_I don't even feel the love that made me dream!!!!_

_I don't even feel the love that made me believe_

_It's only an expression on a melody_

***

Now I don't know what to feel, I don't even know what I feel for you…

But I will not waste my seconds going crazy about this… I'll get over this, and I will get a new life…

Right?

***

_Sad feeling_

_I don't know what I feel_

_Do I despise you?_

_Do I ignore you?_

_If I take out what's rare, it's because I cry…_

_I want a new world, something deeper_

_Enough of moments, enough of seconds_

_A new face, a soul without a lie_

_All I want it's a new life_

_A new life… a new life…_

_Why can't you give me_

_To the right person_

_Why do I only give love_

_To the ones who don't deserve it_

_You've made me become a poet in the dark_

_And it was in the dark that I wrote this letter_

_In the white sheet_

_Tear stains_

_The black color became gray_

_So much pain_

_It wasn't worth it_

_Now you've a small soul_

***

I look at the clock – great! 4 am. I've school in like… 4 hours… just great another sleepless night, all I needed right now.

Well, it's better if I enjoy this 3 hours of sleep I've ahead.

I toss my song book to the floor near the top of my bed, don't have the patience to care where that ends up. Pull my covers and try to sleep, seems like I was more tired then I admitted myself, cause when I put my head down I was already at my dreamland.

The only place when I can fool myself into thinking that you didn't left me, and that you're still here... with me...

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Thanks for reading!

**! i ! i ! i ! i ! REVIEW ! i ! i ! i ! i !**

**make my day!**

**make me smile!**

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**Small Soul**


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